


Broken

by FallenAutte



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Bruiseshipping, Depression, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Post-Season/Series 03, Pre-Season/Series 04, but he's mentioned, cole is good at comforting, depressed jay, polyninja - Freeform, zane is dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 23:45:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19683955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallenAutte/pseuds/FallenAutte
Summary: Another morning, another day. Time is relative when trapped in the dark recesses of your own mind. Time doesn't exist beyond grief.





	Broken

Another morning, another day. Time is relative when trapped in the dark recesses of your own mind. Time doesn't exist beyond grief.

Ever since Zane had sacrificed himself to save the others, things have been hard. Kai is angry, spending every second of the day training or snapping at anyone who spoke to him. Cole is stressed, and when he is stressed, he eats. He eats a lot, so much that it's becoming concerning. Although, Jay has taken it the worst of them. He hardly eats or sleeps, let alone moves or speaks. It scares the other members of the bounty to see the bubbly character so quiet and devoid of anything; a shell of his past self. He lay in bed all day, curled in a blanket, sleeping or crying or staring at the wall. The only time he moves is when he climbs to the bunk above his to lay in Zane's bed.

Today is no different from any other day since Zane's death to the Overlord; Kai wakes up early to "train," Cole wakes up at the promise of breakfast, and Jay never moves a muscle, not even when Cole re-enters the room with food for the depressed man. If it weren't for the painfully slow and shallow breaths from the Master of Lightning, Cole would worry that the poor boy had died in his sleep. Not that Jay would complain about that…

"Jay," Cole starts gently, no longer wincing at the lack of a response. He carries a plate of pancakes and eggs over to Jay's bed, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress. "Nya made you breakfast, it's choco-pancakes, your favorite." Jay barely twitches at the information. He sighs and groans.

"…'m not hungry…" Jay's voice is weak and raspy from misuse, and Cole has to strain to hear what's being said even though he already knows. This isn't the first time he's played this song and dance with Jay.

"You haven't eaten much more than a bag of chips in three days, Jay. You need to eat." Cole swears his voice broke at one point while delivering this speech, but decides it truly doesn't matter. What does matter is Jay. "Zane would want you to eat."

The mention of Zane seems to stir something within Jay, and he turns over to lay on his back. It isn;t much, but it’s something. Cole sighs and sets the plate down on the small dresser beside Jay’s bed, and pulls the smaller ninja into a sitting position against his chest. Jay doesn’t fight the position being forced onto him.

“Zane would want you to eat,” Cole repeats, gently rocking the Lightning elemental back and forth. “He would want you to take care of yourself. I doubt he would let you stay like this.”

Jay remains quiet, refusing to make any attempt to respond, although he sighs and leans into Cole’s embrace after a moment. He’s so small, so fragile, so broken. Looking at him now, it’d be hard to imagine that he’d ever been loud and boisterous. Zane’s death broke him, destroyed him. It left him vulnerable and meek. Furthermore, Jay’s depression fuels Cole’s stress and Kai’s anger, as if they’re grieving for more than the loss of their nindroid companion, as if they’re mourning for the loss of their bubbly inventor as well. They may as well be.

Cole twists around to grab for the plate again and sets it on Jay’s lap. “C’mon, baby, please eat.” He uses the knife and fork he’d brought to cut up the pancakes and make them easier to eat. He lifts a small piece to Jay’s mouth, and much to his delight, Jay reluctantly accepts the small amount of food. They continue this until Jay stops accepting the food; it isn’t much, but it’s something. Jay still ate, even if it isn’t as much as it should be.

Cole sets the plate aside again, and just stays there with his arms wrapped around his smallest lover. His nose is nestled in Jay’s unkempt, ginger hair and he holds him like his life depends on it. Jay doesn’t seem to care, he doesn’t seem to care about much anymore, but at least he seems relaxed.

The pair remains like this for a while - time is meaningless to those who grieve - and it isn’t until Cole needs to get up that he realizes that Jay had fallen asleep on him. A smile graces his features while he gently attempts to shift the boy out of his arms so he could go do his own thing. Jay’s head gently hits the pillow while Cole manages to set him down, pulling the blanket over his lover. He will come back later to check on him. For now, he takes Jay’s plate and leaves the light turned off on his way out.

“How is he?” asks Nya once he finally comes out from the galley and onto the deck. She had begun training beside her brother, who refuses to take a break no matter how worked up he gets himself. “Did he eat?”

Cole nods; he’s too tired and distracted himself to train but he doesn’t have any issue watching his boyfriend take his anger out on the training dummies. “A little, but he’s sleeping now. I’ll go back to pester him later.” Satisfied with this answer, Nya turns back to her training, now slightly more enthusiastic thanks to the good news. Even Kai, who is never very subtle about listening in on things, seems to calm.

Cole does eventually join the training session, after getting himself some more snacks. He spars off with Kai, allowing the other to take out his anger. A living target is more challenging to train against, but far more rewarding. Lloyd comes out later in the day, having been practicing in his mental training with Wu up until that point, and also checking in on Jay while the others trained on the deck.

“He’s been sleeping all day, but he’s fine,” Lloyd tells them when he finally comes out at three in the afternoon, carrying sandwiches and bottles of water for the three others. “I tried to get him to eat, but I don’t have the charm with him that Cole does.” Cole flushes at the compliment.

“I’ll go see about getting him to eat later, then.” Cole speaks through a mouthful of turkey and cheese, not bothering to chew and swallow first in his mild fluster. “I doubt I’ll be able to get it to work again, but it’s better to try than to let him starve.”

Perhaps the word “starve” isn’t the best to use, judging by the sickened expression that rises to his friends’ faces, but he isn’t going to _lie_ . Jay _is_ starving himself, regardless of whether he even realizes it or not.

The ninja sit in silence to eat the rest of their lunch and take a break, until Cole stands and stretches with a yawn. “I’ll go take something to Jay, and probably clock in for today.” Nya nods in agreement, while Lloyd and Kai both seem like they could continue their training. It’s no surprise by Lloyd’s end, considering he hadn’t even begun his physical training for the day. Offering to take everyone’s plates and water bottles, Cole enters the galley of the Bounty alongside Nya, who heads off to do her own thing. He drops the plates in the sink, refills the bottles and places them in the fridge to cool. The ninja don’t waste anything around here, especially since they aren’t the most wealthy folk.

There is already a sandwich in the fridge, clearly meant for Jay, and Cole takes it before heading off towards their shared cabin. He pauses outside the door, pushing his ear against the wood at the sound of muffled crying. A sigh pulls from him; he isn’t surprised but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt him any less. “Hey, Bluebell,” he cooes gently upon opening the door, but needs to take a moment to readjust himself.

Jay isn’t in his own bed, instead curled with his knees to his chest on the bunk above it. The only reason the white sheets aren’t greying with dust is the fact that Jay sometimes uses it every now and then. He looks up at the nickname, sniveling and quickly bringing an arm up to wipe at his eyes; he doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t need to. Cole’s heart breaks.

Jay’s eyes are puffy, tears still leaking from the baby blues and making his freckled cheeks red and tender. Shadows cast under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept in days, despite that being the only thing he’s done lately. He looks pale, aside from the red rawness of his eyes and cheeks. It’s pathetic, but it’s Jay.

Cole whimpers with silent pity, approaching the bed and setting the plate down on the dresser; he can worry about that later. Carefully, he climbs his way to the top bunk but doesn’t climb into the bed until Jay gives him any sign that he can. The smaller boy avoids his eyes, staring down at his own lap with his hands bunched up in Zane’s soft blankets. Hesitantly, Cole reaches over to run a hand through Jay’s snarled hair - it hasn’t been brushed or combed in days - and gently picks through the nest with his fingers. To his surprise and delight, the depressed boy leans into the touch, and closes his reddened eyes to relax. He’s always been a sucker for having his hair played with, and Cole knows just what strings to pull.

Jay is the one to first break the silence; “I miss him…”

His voice is so broken. Cole thought his heart couldn’t break any further, but Jay continues to prove him wrong. He pulls his hand away from Jay’s hair, and gently wraps his arms around the smaller boy. He pulls him off of the bunk in a bridal carry. He takes Zane’s blanket, and wraps Jay in the soft fabric.

“I know, baby.” He lets out a shaky breath, sighing as he sits down with his lover on Jay’s bed. “I know…”

**Author's Note:**

> This ends on a bitter note and it seems incomplete to me, but it's the best that I can come up with for now. I may edit it later though, if I come up with something.


End file.
